How To Follow Jesus Completely

Someone very kindly kicked my daughter's soccer ball back to her. I patiently instructed my daughter, “Say thank you.” Another boy whom I didn’t know and wasn’t talking to looked up at me while running after his ball and said, “Thank you.” Even though I'd done absolutely nothing to help him in any way, I very kindly and matter of factly replied, “You’re welcome.” My wife, witnessing this, started laughing to the point that she was having trouble catching her breath. I turned to her with a big smile on my face that continued to get bigger as I thought about what just happened. I repeated the exchange outloud so that we could relive it together and we have been revisiting that moment when we need a laugh ever since.

There was literally no reason that the boy should have needed to say thank you to me. I guess it was just a natural response to my request. Maybe I gave really clear direction to him and he appreciated it so much that he complied even without having a clear reason. I don’t know. All I know is that he seemed like a genuinely nice kid who said thank you for no reason.

I hate being told what to do. Actually, I kind of like it. I like knowing what is expected of me. I don’t like standing out. Sometimes I search out what I should do and who I should be by watching other people, reading books, watching YouTube videos.

When I do something because someone else told me to or because that’s what I see other people doing, it is called “acting by analogy”.

Acting by analogy is easy. I see someone do something and I recreate it. Someone tells me to do something and I do it the way they tell me to. Someone tells me to say thank you and I say thank you. It’s the reason we all do things similarly. I feel safe when I do what most of the other people around me are doing. It seems like I won’t make any big mistakes. I figure that I’ll fit in pretty well. It makes me think I’ll be able to relate to my neighbors because we’re all kinda doing the same things.

This acting by analogy hurts, though. It hurts me because I don’t find deep meaning from the things I do.

I find myself hearing my friends and family clearly, coworkers intensely, pastor’s voice strongly, the internet like a megaphone that rarely quiets, comments from bystanders ever swirling around me like a confused wind.

These voices tell me what I should eat, how I should pray, what I should wear, how I should interpret a certain portion of scripture, what types of hugs I should give, what to do with my free time, what I’m allowed to think, how I need to act in every situation. These voices make it easy to know what is expected of me, but they don’t give me a deep sense of meaning.

“The thoughts of others imprison us if we’re not thinking for ourselves.” -Shane, Farnham Street Blog

The ever present voices of others often make it more difficult to hear the voice of God. His Spirit doesn’t seem to be on a loudspeaker in my life, it takes turning down the volume of everyone else before I can hear His voice.

The opposite of acting from analogy is refreshing. When I do something because I determined it was what I wanted to do based upon my own principles, it is called “acting by principle”. This is sometimes referred to as First Principles thinking/reasoning/acting. First principles thinking means that a concept is understood down to the very fundamental building blocks, down to the basic principles, the first principles. It means I understand why am doing what I am doing and that it is based on something with meaning.

It is hard to decide what to do in every situation. There are almost an infinite number of situations that we will encounter, each with their unique circumstances. How do we know what God wants us to do in all these different situations?

The bible, much to my disappointment, has never given me a specific answer for what I should do in all the different situations I’ve been in. There is no formulaic answer. But, Jesus did tell me what basic principles everything should be based upon.

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”

I’ve found a lot of meaning basing what I eat, how I pray, what I wear, how I interpret scripture, how I hug, what I do with my free time, how I think, and how I act upon loving God and loving my neighbor. It feels as though what I do has color and texture instead of it just being gray and flat because someone else told me to do it this way or that way. I seem to hear his voice clearer when I’m not intensely focused on what other people are telling me to do.

That kid who said thank you when I told him to probably didn’t really mean it. There wasn’t a reason for it or at least a reason that he understood. He said thank you because I told him to. Hopefully, I’m not just acting like that kid all the time. Do things for no reason. I’d like to have a purpose. I’d like to have a meaning. I’d like to follow Jesus completely, not other people. I’d like to leave the tradition of men and hold to the commandment of God.

“And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written, ‘this people honors me with their lips, but their heart is far from me; in vain do they worship me, teaching as doctrines the commandments of me.’ You leave the commandment of God and hold to the tradition of men.” ‭‭Mark‬ ‭7:6-8‬ ‭ESV

Find Your Why

Eventually, all my shirts start to look old. The colors, once vibrant, now have a bland appearance. The pilling on the surface makes a subtle sheen that speaks of its age. What would seem beautiful, the sun peeking its way through the clouds, doesn't seem beautiful when the light is showing itself through the fabric.

I quickly pass over many of my shirts when I look through my closet. They don't bring me joy anymore. Whatever reasons I had for liking the shirt is all gone. What I thought was timeless style, now speaks its age loudly.

Not all shirts are like that for me, though. Slowly, over many years, I have been building a closet that gives me more satisfaction. Not because it is full of new clothes or stylish clothes, but because the clothes have more meaning to me.

A few years ago my wife bought me a NASA t-shirt on eBay. I really like the shirt. Not only because it has the logo of a fascinating organization, but also because it is used. Previously worn by someone not me. It was still in good shape, though. In this case, it did not become part of the 13 million tons (source: BBC) of clothing that gets thrown into the landfill every year because we saved it. Even though it is starting to sag a little bit after a few years of wearing, I still really like it. It speaks to something that I find important - to one of my whys: I want to reduce waste. I want to eliminate the impact of another one of my t-shirt purchases. Instead of a bunch of energy, growing chemicals, processing chemicals, and dyeing agents for a brand new t-shirt, this t-shirt was already made. Its impact has largely already occurred. No additional chemicals entering poor communities. Some emissions from shipping in the mail and the t-shirt was given a new life, a new home, with me. The shirt seems to align with one of my "whys" - love does no harm to a neighbor.

I have been adding used clothes to my closet via eBay. Now, when I look into my closet, I can flip through and recognize the clothes that I bought second hand. Those clothes, even though they might not have the perfect fit, have a warmth and brightness to them - like a pet adopted from the shelter, they have been rescued for a second life.

When I don't buy used clothes, my purchases are more expensive than they used to be. I wish it wasn't that way, but it seems that to find an item that aligns with one of my whys, it is more expensive.

Around 5 years ago, I bought a group of t-shirts from Patagonia. Some to keep nice, others I was going to wear often as my workout shirts. I use 2 of those t-shirts as my rock climbing and work out shirts, a green one and a once-blue, now faded blue-purple one. Both collars are a tad stretched out from all of the workouts. The t-shirts are in good shape otherwise and don't show a lot of light through the fabric. Patagonia shirts last a lot longer than other shirts I have owned. Even though they are a bit worn out and faded, I still really like them because they resonate with some of my whys. The shirts are made of organic cotton, which greatly reduces the chemicals (pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, and fertilizer) that farmers and their families have to be exposed to. The farmers also make more money (the margins on organic cotton are better than those for conventionally grown cotton). There are many more reasons that I could share regarding the benefits to farmers of organic and regenerative growing styles. The shirts were sewn in a fair-trade certified factory that certifies living wages, safety standards, no forced overtime, the right to unionize, and community investment among other things. Although fair-trade and organic practices aren't perfect, they seem to align themselves better with one of my whys - love your neighbor as yourself. I want my family to be safe from chemicals and paid good wages in a supportive environment, so it make sense to me that I should look for those things in the shirts I buy. To me, these shirts have meaning beyond the way they look and feel.

It definitely takes more time to build a closet that aligns with my whys than building a closet that doesn't. There are fewer options to choose from when buying new. Used options might not fit perfectly and, at least when shopping on eBay, I can't really try the clothes on before I buy them. Some of the used shirts I bought don't fit the way I expected them to. Buying items that are new and resonate with my whys, are more expensive. But, when I look in my closet, I'm happier. I see clothes that have more meaning to me.

If you are interested in finding an item that might resonate with one of your whys, check out our website. Underneath the headers at the top you can find lists of companies that are doing more. You can find all sorts of brands or websites that sell items which feature products that are fair-trade, made in the USA, environmentally friendly, and more. We tried to do the research and remove the obstacle of "where do I go to find these sorts of items?"

Don't dismiss used clothes. Just like pets at a shelter, there are tons of items on eBay or Amazon or Salvation Army used that are looking for a loving home. I recently bought a blazer on eBay with fabric woven in Italy that was normally $300, but I got it for $30. I had some help getting it tailored and now it fits like a glove. I know many people who have a particular Salvation Army in a, how should I say it, well-off neighborhood, where they find high end items. It's a different shopping pattern that has taken time getting used to, but now it is quite normal for me.

I find a great amount of satisfaction in the search for items that align themselves with my whys. I would not be surprised if you experienced the same thing.

The Little Store

The door has writing on it advertising this week's inventory. When I walk in, I know the person working at the checkout. There's only one person needed to manage the store. "No eggs from The Old Home Place?" "No, sorry, we sold out, but they should be delivering another batch on Thursday."

Coolers, like the ones you see in mom and pop diners with bottled sodas in them, line the sides of the room. Metal hardware store style shelves stand in the middle with goods from brands I've never heard of nor seen in a big store. The shelves don't go up especially high.

There aren't any big displays. The items aren't jam packed next to one another. Instead of 20 different variants of each item, there are only a few. Sometimes only one.

As I move to assess the meat in a stand up cooler, I see the chicken in Zip Loc bags with a small label that looks like it came from a home printer. I begin to realize that this chicken was raised on a small farm, by a small family producer, trying to do things the DIY way. Short supply chain. Farmer -> store.

I've asked about many of the farms the store sources from. Most of the time I get answers like the one I most recently received about the ground turkey. "Those turkeys are the healthiest turkeys you'd ever see. Those farmers look after them better than people treat their spoiled pets. Their farm is about an hour and a half away, to the southwest."

Every time I've asked if the farms allow visitors, I have been answered with something along the lines of, "Sure. They prefer weekday mornings. Would you like their number?"

Finding More Info

A few years ago, I took a picture of a pack of the Kielbasa we bought from the little store. The name of the farm is on the package. It includes their address and a website to visit to learn more.

I can look them up on google. I can check out their website. I can drive by their farm, the address is on the label. I can call them and schedule a visit. The pictures on their website look just like I'd imagine a farm to look. Animals on an open plot. A small shelter for when they get enough sun. The reviews on google give them 5 stars.

Here's a carton of eggs we bought.

The little store's website tells me a bit more about the The Old Home Place:

"The Old Home Place is run by Henry and his 7 children, located in Amish country just over the Michigan border. Henry provides us with free range/pastured eggs that are non-GMO, as well as ground chicken and beef. His cows roam on pasture, eating only grass. All work is done by hand, as there is no electricity, no phones, cars, tv, video games or air conditioning."

Small Orange Stickers

The little store is small - only two rooms with a dividing wall in the middle. Small orange stickers tell me the prices. I know how to pronounce all of the words on the ingredients list. Quite a few packages look like they've been designed by the tech savvy in the family on Microsoft Word. The store offers things like CSA (community supported agriculture).

The little store seems more like what my great-great grandparents would have bought their groceries from that a chain supermarket. I know the store owner. The store owner knows the farmer. The person at the checkout knows my name. I feel safe. The limited selection allows the employee to give the background of each product. I bring something different to the counter and the employee tells me its one of their favorites. I have a better idea of what my purchase is doing to the farmer and community. The farmers seem more like neighbors and I feel like I am treating them more neighborly.

The Parable of the Good Samaritan - 'Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?'.... Jesus told him, 'Go and do likewise.' Luke 10:36